Saturday, January 20, 2007

...I got sunburned indoors in January?

Okay, maybe it's fair to ask what I was doing napping at 3:00 PM. Further fair questions might address why, given the fact that construction workers make a habit of passing around the popcorn on the rooftop that looks directly into my apartment, I was sleeping buck-naked with the curtains open.

These, as I have said, are fair questions.

Of all the contingencies for which I didn't plan today, however, sunburn is one which I think I might be forgiven for neglecting. Granted, it hasn't exactly been freezing outside -- the only person who will ever mention the 'winter of ought-six' will be Al Gore when he's feeling insufferable -- but it would never have occurred to me to break out the sunblock before closing my eyes.

Big mistake. In my midafternoon dreams I found myself car shopping in old-fashioned basketball shorts (of which I do in fact own a pair), and it was not long before I realized that the vehicle on which I leaned was unpleasantly hot. Shifting positions provided only temporary relief, and eventually my dream-self had to acknowledge that not only did I not need a car, I was in substantial pain.

1/ Wake from burn-y dreams to burn-y reality

2/ Realize what the hell is going on

3/ Get up, unbearably pissed off at whoever the patron saint of nappers might be, and storm off to take a cold shower

But on the plus side, I now have the best-tanned left buttock in the District. I suppose that counts for something.

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